Congregational Conduct: Getting What We Ask For
1 Sam. 3:13
A. Statistics from governmental and independent studies tell
us that the American way of life is in trouble. Why is that so?
We need to be asking, What have we have done or not done
that has resulted in this tragic phenomenon.
It is a serious thing to fail in the matter of parental responsibility.
Bible example in 1 Sam. 3:13. Many examples of real families where
things have gone wrong and they are still holding on by a thin
thread. Appear, outwardly to be ok. But, for all practical purposes
there is not a lot of unity and their dysfunctionality is hidden
from outsiders.
What are some of the characteristics of such a family? Not all
troubled families will have all of the following characteristics,
but many will have most of them. This morning lets think about
them and see if we you can recognize them.
Adversarial relationships. Not much harmony, children talk back.
Harmony between members is shaky.
Low level of maturity and responsibility: Do not help in things
around the house and whines about others not doing more.
Disruptiveness by some members: Low level of cooperation and stability.
The family is out of control.
Little productive work that shows pride in the family and self:
Tendency toward sluggishness and laziness, Prov. 10:5.
Everybody does what he pleases: Little interest in being together.
Little or no family entertainment, Judg. 21:25.
Little respect for authority: Little commitment to loyalty or
fidelity to the values
of the family, or to the family itself. These traits do not appear
in families at random
they are effects caused by certain underlying factors.
We have seen such problems arise in our families and have mismanaged
them and The usual reaction is to throw up our hands and say,
What could I do?
But at least some of the factors are things we are capable of
doing something about. Things we can have some control over.
One such causal is when we have few expectations and little accountability
of ourselves and other family members.
Fail to teach ourselves and our children we are accountable for
our actions.
We must learn to hold ourselves to expected levels of conduct
and living.
Using little or no discipline.
Helpful discipline is both instructive and corrective. To reach
any acceptable level of maturity in Mental, psychological, moral,
social and spiritual maturity, one must develop discipline and
(DGP) Deferred Gratification Pattern
When discipline is too little or too late, serious problems arise.
Prov. 13:24; 19:18; Heb. 12:7-11.
Indulgence.
Yielding excessively to the desires and whims of a family member
is destructive to the family as well as to the individual. Prov.
29:15.
Few consequences for irresponsibility. People who are not taught
about the consequences of their actions become horribly irresponsible,
lie, abuse, cheat, refuse to be held accountable. Exhibit sociopathic
behavior. Bill Clinton is a perfect example of a sociopath.
In general, we bring problems upon ourselves by taking a passive,
rather than active, positive approach to the building the lives
of our selves and our families.
You cannot build a strong family with a Que sera, sera philosophy
by which we go along to get along and just Let things happen
And trying to keep the peace by always ignoring the truth and
looking the other way.
You dont build character, truthfulness, honesty and a strong
sense of pride and responsibility by letting things slide with
out accountability and responsibility in the family. If you Never
meet your responsibility to each other or to God. You will live
a life of learned chaos. Haunt you all your life.
A congregation is more nearly like a family than it is like anything
else, 1 Tim. 3:4-5, talks about one of the qualifications for
an elder and explains why the qualification is necessary.
(4) Did you know that the same problems that plague our physical
families are the same problems that plague us in our congregational
relationships? To deny that the problems exist is to perpetuate
the same failures we have in our families.
(1) Congregational problems and failures are mirrored in family
problems and failures. Like families congregations end up getting
exactly what they ask for. You always reap what you sow. Thats
always true whether its in the cotton field, a home or in
the congregation. You get what you reward. Or to put
it another way, What grows is what gets watered.
(1) Have we encouraged shallow commitment to the Lord and His
work by tolerating it? And we do it without even thinking and
encourage others to do the same. Guilty of being enablers
when it comes to their misconduct?
(2) They dont come. They Know that no body will call and
ask, Why?
(2) The problems we have mentioned are by no means the only problems
we face in our families and our congregation. But they do represent
a particular set of serious deficiencies that need to be addressed.
(1) Relationships, of any kind, rarely survive without implementing
the principle that unacceptable conduct, commitment will
not be accepted.
(2) I am convinced that when problems arise. And we do nothing
but watch it happen. Makes us a participant in that sin itself,
Obad. 9-10.
(3) When you see your brother doing wrong and you dont care
enough to go tell him to do right. God will hold you responsible.
(5) When you see the devil ravaging the church---you dont
just stand around picking your nose and scratching yourself. Pick
up the Sword of the Spirit and do battle. Thats the answer
to every problem we have.
(6) Acts 20:32.
Spur - 03/31/2002 pm
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