Congregational Conduct: Getting What We Ask For
1 Sam. 3:13

A. Statistics from governmental and independent studies tell us that the American way of life is in trouble. Why is that so? We need to be asking, “What have we have done or not done that has resulted in this tragic phenomenon.”
It is a serious thing to fail in the matter of parental responsibility. Bible example in 1 Sam. 3:13. Many examples of real families where things have gone wrong and they are still holding on by a thin thread. Appear, outwardly to be ok. But, for all practical purposes there is not a lot of unity and their dysfunctionality is hidden from outsiders.
What are some of the characteristics of such a family? Not all troubled families will have all of the following characteristics, but many will have most of them. This morning lets think about them and see if we you can recognize them.
Adversarial relationships. Not much harmony, children talk back. Harmony between members is shaky.
Low level of maturity and responsibility: Do not help in things around the house and whines about others not doing more.
Disruptiveness by some members: Low level of cooperation and stability. The family is “out of control.”
Little productive work that shows pride in the family and self: Tendency toward sluggishness and laziness, Prov. 10:5.
Everybody does what he pleases: Little interest in being together. Little or no family entertainment, Judg. 21:25.
Little respect for authority: Little commitment to loyalty or fidelity to the values
of the family, or to the family itself. These traits do not appear in families at random
— they are effects caused by certain underlying factors.
We have seen such problems arise in our families and have mismanaged them and The usual reaction is to throw up our hands and say, “What could I do?”
But at least some of the factors are things we are capable of doing something about. Things we can have some control over.
One such causal is when we have few expectations and little accountability of ourselves and other family members.
Fail to teach ourselves and our children we are accountable for our actions.
We must learn to hold ourselves to expected levels of conduct and living.
Using little or no discipline.
Helpful discipline is both instructive and corrective. To reach any acceptable level of maturity in Mental, psychological, moral, social and spiritual maturity, one must develop discipline and (DGP) Deferred Gratification Pattern
When discipline is too little or too late, serious problems arise. Prov. 13:24; 19:18; Heb. 12:7-11.
Indulgence.
Yielding excessively to the desires and whims of a family member is destructive to the family as well as to the individual. Prov. 29:15.
Few consequences for irresponsibility. People who are not taught about the consequences of their actions become horribly irresponsible, lie, abuse, cheat, refuse to be held accountable. Exhibit sociopathic behavior. Bill Clinton is a perfect example of a sociopath.

In general, we bring problems upon ourselves by taking a passive, rather than active, positive approach to the building the lives of our selves and our families.
You cannot build a strong family with a “Que sera, sera philosophy” by which we go along to get along and just “Let things happen” And trying to keep the peace by always ignoring the truth and looking the other way.
You don’t build character, truthfulness, honesty and a strong sense of pride and responsibility by letting things slide with out accountability and responsibility in the family. If you Never meet your responsibility to each other or to God. You will live a life of learned chaos. Haunt you all your life.
A congregation is more nearly like a family than it is like anything else, 1 Tim. 3:4-5, talks about one of the qualifications for an elder and explains why the qualification is necessary.
(4) Did you know that the same problems that plague our physical families are the same problems that plague us in our congregational relationships? To deny that the problems exist is to perpetuate the same failures we have in our families.
(1) Congregational problems and failures are mirrored in family problems and failures. Like families congregations end up getting exactly what they ask for. You always reap what you sow. That’s always true whether it’s in the cotton field, a home or in the congregation. “You get what you reward.” Or to put it another way, “What grows is what gets watered.”
(1) Have we encouraged shallow commitment to the Lord and His work by tolerating it? And we do it without even thinking and encourage others to do the same. Guilty of being “enablers” when it comes to their misconduct?
(2) They don’t come. They Know that no body will call and ask, “Why?”
(2) The problems we have mentioned are by no means the only problems we face in our families and our congregation. But they do represent a particular set of serious deficiencies that need to be addressed.
(1) Relationships, of any kind, rarely survive without implementing the principle that “unacceptable conduct, commitment will not be accepted.”
(2) I am convinced that when problems arise. And we do nothing but watch it happen. Makes us a participant in that sin itself, Obad. 9-10.
(3) When you see your brother doing wrong and you don’t care enough to go tell him to do right. God will hold you responsible.
(5) When you see the devil ravaging the church---you don’t just stand around picking your nose and scratching yourself. Pick up the Sword of the Spirit and do battle. That’s the answer to every problem we have.
(6) Acts 20:32.

Spur - 03/31/2002 pm